Not Forever

Posted by Stuti Khosla on January 20, 2017

“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it is not the same river and he is not the same man.” - Heraclitus

Do you believe in the word ‘forever’? Have you come across anything that is permanent? Anything at all? Objects? People? Good times? Bad times? Relationships? Life? Forever is an unnecessarily celebrated concept. In fact, if you ask me, it does not even exist. It is a farce-something that people have devised to avoid delving into reality.

Does your needlessly over-priced laptop with pointless features never give you any trouble? Do you never fight with your near and dear ones? Have you not, for once, felt trapped in a job you took? Hasn’t your relationship with your spouse changed at all over the years? Have you never parted ways with a friend? If for you, the answers to these questions lie in the negative, you would probably not agree with all that is written ahead. But if they are in the affirmative, have you ever given a thought to why things are the way they are?

As kids, it is easier for us to believe in happy endings. But a child that loses his parents in a car crash realises soon enough that life may not always be about those “happily-ever-afters”. One rain dance with your so-called smart phone and you can kiss it goodbye; one bad experience makes it difficult to fall in love again; one damaged friendship influences you to look at every peer with an eye of distrust. So, what is it that lasts forever?

People are an entity that is most invested into- physically, mentally, emotionally, financially or morally. An old woman in a wheelchair needs constant physical attention and looking after; a relatively weaker student in a class of perfectly average children requires ample mental support to cope up to be at par with the rest of his classmates; a wife that loses her husband to a terrorist attack needs a world of emotional help to get back on her feet; and a businessman who invests in a sinking company for the sake of an old friend, is nothing but a channel assisting the friend with finance and perhaps some hope. However, are these situations that people often find themselves in, in any way permanent? The old lady dies having suffered from the disease for a long time; the weaker student goes on to get himself a highly-paying job; the widow pulls herself together for the sake of her family but denies herself the chance to love or be loved again; and regardless of the financial contributions made, the company is declared to be dissolved.

There comes a point in all our lives where we learn certain things and face certain actualities- circumstances we would have liked to be otherwise. Yes, your friends talk behind your back. Yes, even though you thought it was true love, you had break up. Yes, the oh-so-cool tattoo you got way back in college is not so cool anymore. Yes, it is time for you to break it to your parents that you do not want to continue with your godforsaken course anymore and bring shame to Sharmaji and his khaandaan.

We must do ourselves a favour and stop telling ourselves that we have “forever” to travel, to experiment and to explore- because we don’t. It is important that we stop carrying that baggage around and free ourselves from all that is rupturing our spirits and be unabashedly unapologetic in the process. It is time to acknowledge and accept that times change, people change and that you have changed. The “forever” is a big fat illusion most of us create only to shield ourselves from the truth. But it is pertinent to focus on what lies ahead, to pull all that negativity behind us, to forgive ourselves and others, to tell ourselves that some things are beyond human control, and to let destiny take the course that it has to.

What is dead, needs to be buried.

What is gone, needs to be forgotten.

What is done, is done.

Nothing will last forever. Not even you.